Off-season recap

Ed. Note: Twinscast.com has been experiencing technical difficulties when it comes to uploading episodes onto the website. Bryant Johnson, our technical director, has proven rather incompetent at fixing this problem but the recent episodes - for the eight people who listen - are currently available on iTunes, and we are working towards getting the problem fixed so they will also appear on the site.

Also, Twinscast.com has been experiencing difficulties when it comes to regular blog postings on the website. Jeff Day, our senior baseball writer, has proven rather incompetent at maintaining a regular posting schedule, but as pitchers and catchers report to Ft. Myers this week the blog posting schedule will become more regular for the three people who read the blog.

Well, hello Twinscast audience, we’ve missed you.

Bryant and I wanted to wish you all a happy kiss-off to the offseason this Valentine’s Day weekend as pitcher’s and catcher’s report to spring training on Friday. We have been terribly negligent in our off-season coverage of the Twins and have focused primarily on a Wal-Mart trampling whenever we fire up a podcast, not to mention that we can’t figure out what the hell is wrong with uploading the podcasts onto the website. In light of this here is a wrap-up of the off-season that will cover the major moves the Twins made and give you our distinct and in-depth analysis of what these moves mean.

Tuck your toes in, get those knickers off, and lets jam, this could take awhile.

The most interesting off-season happenings for the Twins in 2008-2009.

1. Dec. 11 - Nick Punto signs two-year $8.5 million contract with the Twins, including a club-option for $5 million in 2011.

2. Jan 20 - Reports come out that Joe Mauer’s recovery from kidney surgery is taking longer than expected.

3. Jan 7 - Carl Pohlad dies.

4. Feb 7 - Twins sign Luis Ayala to one-year $1.3 million contract.

5. Feb 13 - Twins sign Delmon Young to one-year $1.15 million contract after month’s of speculation regarding whether or not he would be in the Twins outfield in 2009.

6. Ummm, six, the number six, what was the Twins sixth major move this off-season?

Is this it? Is five it?

In looking over the copious notes I have been taking the past three months it seems that the rest of the Twin’s off-season seems to essentially be filled with questions unresolved: will they get Joe Crede? Eric Gagne? decent middle-relief? Ty Wiggington? a major steroid revelation? anything? anyone?

This is it.

The hiring of a groundskeeper for 2010 literally made the paper.

So, what do these five moves mean? Well, it means that we know who the Twins starting first-baseman, shortstop and head coach is going to be in 2009.

I will give the Twins credit for one thing: while the rest of the world is full of uncertainty and greed-mongering assholes they remain remarkably steady and unwavering in their mindset. They are a slow-plow of boring monotony in the middle of a high flying strew of shit and money.

This is probably a good thing, baseball has gone to hell this off-season - Jose Canseco is literally looking like a sage.

So, it seems like the Twins, in staying beneath the desk and waiting for the debris to settle, are comfortable moving forward with what they have and praying for slight improvement. And while a linear thought process could lead fans to expect that this tactic will produce results and that the team should be better than last year (ex. young players growing into more seasoned and concrete roles become better players) - it instead seems like expectations will drop again for the Twins in 2009.

No major moves. No big signings. No nothing. No risks. No rewards. What a pathetic and boring and utterly despondent off-season.

Bill Smith has learned his lesson.

So, that’s that, that should make our bosses shut up about lack of content. Baseball is coming, forget the economy and the fact that you lost your job, kiss your friends, hug your mothers, take some time, be patient and sleep with your lovers…here’s to spring.