Pounding the Pavement at the Pioneer Press

Charley Walters is a columnist for the despondent St. Paul Pioneer Press. It is unclear what the label ‘columnist’ truly means for Walters because he rarely writes on ‘topics’ but rather muses on ‘possibilities’ that often have no source to draw on. Well, add Walters Dec. 22, 2008 column to a long list of shit that has spewed forth from his corner of the metro sports market in the previous year.

In the column Walters leads with a theory (using the thinnest definition of the word) that the Mark Teixeira free-agent sweepstakes (which culminated Tuesday with the Yankees literally saying ‘fuck you’ to all of Major League Baseball) will have future implications on Joe Mauer.

Let’s break this down paragraph by paragraph:

As the Mark Teixeira free-agent negotiations go, so might go the market for Joe Mauer, who can become a free agent after the 2010 season.

It is hard to tell what has drawn Walters to this conclusion outside of the basic premise that all free agent signings that are happening currently will obviously have an affect on free agent signings that will come in the future. This is a true premise. It is also so basic and simple-minded as to be completely unnecessary for erudition. It’s sort of like writing a business column and saying that, ‘Whatever decision the government makes in regards to the auto-industry bailout will eventually have an effect on the auto-industry.’ What is perhaps more complexing is the connection between Teixeira and Mauer on any real level.

I can see the connection between Barry Zito’s contract two years ago, Johan Santana’s contract last year, and C.C. Sabathia’s contract this year. There is a linear narrative there for top-pitcher’s contracts in the modern baseball market. Mark Teixeira (a 28-year-old, switch hitting, 30 home run, 100 RBI first baseman) signed for $180 million today - that’s one thing, but Joe Mauer (a left-handed, 25-year-old, hit for average, masterful defensive catcher) will be a free agent in two years, at the end of the 2010 season when he is 27-years-old - so while there is an ostensible connection - that being, what did the best offensive free agent in baseball sign for in 2008 ($180 million over eight years) and how will that potentially affect what could be the best free agent offensive player available in 2010 (Joe Mauer), there is still a vast number of variables that differentiate Mauer and Teixeira as players and as perspective players in the free agent market (position, age, statistics, loyalty to a team/city/state/family/friends/entire life history - seriously, if you don’t believe that Mauer will stay in Minnesota you are kidding yourself).

Paragraph two points out Mauer’s current salary structure and Teixeira’s desired contract. Paragraph three writes up the Twins highest paid players - how that connects to the story is beyond me.

Then comes paragraph four, where Walters is able to lay out his acumen for getting the “in-the-know” details of a story that completely evade other reporters in the Twin Cities.

People in the know say the Boston Red Sox already are salivating over Mauer, who would be only 27 as a free agent. There have been no talks this winter about extending the St. Paul native’s contract, in part because Mauer’s value after last season is at a premium, and it’s uncertain whether the seismic downturn in the nation’s economy will affect baseball salaries a year from now.

This sort of glib, ‘people in the know’ sourcing is one of the saddest aspects of modern sports journalism - this was brought to light extensively with the Ed Werder story on Tony Romo, Jason Witten and Terrell Owens last week. First off this is not some Seymour Hersh column where we are diving into controversies surrounding national or international security - we’re talking about an athlete playing a game for mass entertainment is this sort of side-stepping secrecy remotely necessary?

And really what need is there to protect this source? It isn’t like they are telling Charley anything new: in two years, if Joe Mauer is a free agent, the Boston Red Sox would be interested in signing a two-time batting champion who just so happens to play the most demanding position in baseball to a nice, big contract. What a dangerous game this source is playing, what a ledge he stands upon perched high above the comforts of normal and plaintive discourse.

Finally Walters brings up the economy and the fact that it may play a part in future contract negotiations with Mauer.

Thank you.

Final thoughts from Walters:

What is for sure is that the Mauer contract negotiations will be the biggest and most important in Twins history.

It is hard for me to really say anything about this. Walters clearly believes that the Twins need to resign Mauer and fast, and that this is of epic importance. There is an air of apocalyptic sentiment running throughout all of this, a feeling that if the Twins are not paying attention to Walters remarks they may miss out on the biggest moment in their history - which would make the column true, if Mauer was a free agent today, or if he had any connection to Mark Teixeira, or if there wasn’t two more years for the Twins to make a decision on Mauer’s future.

Now, I know that the easiest thing in life is to simply sit and be a critic of other’s work - it is a pathetic, infantile practice. None the less, there is something about Walters and this sort of journalism that leaves little option. It isn’t that I believe I could write a better column, it is that any marginally trained writer with access to the Minnesota Twins front-office and players (which Walters surely has) could write a better column.

When I think of Walters sitting down to type this there isn’t a moment where I think of a journalist reporting and crafting out an idea. What I see is Walters with his face to the ground, crawling around like an aardvark, his brown, wet snout burrowing for an ant that was never there.